It is possible to transform all of this and learn another way to work with the pain. I know, because I did. Somehow I found my way through the grief and learned that there are ways to work with the sadness and sorrow that actually became a blessing to me.

Many grief “experts” refer to the five stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance—stages that never really felt like a fit to me in the first place. There was no denying the death, and I felt gutted, not angry. I had nothing to bargain about, my son was already dead. I experienced shock, initial disbelief, and a pain in my heart like none other.

I remember deep sadness more than depression—perhaps they are the same, but I think not. I soon discovered that pain and joy could live side by side, and I could experience them both at the same time. For me, my journey began with acceptance—a surrendering to the reality that my son had died and nothing was going to change that fact.

For decades, I have been a serious student of human potential, spiritual growth, God, presence, death, and life after death. As I was blindly inching my way through my dark tunnel of grief, I grabbed the tools that I had picked up in these studies of mindfulness, consciousness and awareness, as well as spiritual principles, universal laws, and even quantum science.

With Michael’s death, I was now face to face with a reality that required me to practice mindful awareness—paying attention to my inner world of thoughts and feelings, focusing my attention on what brought me strength, turning away from thoughts that pulled me under.

I had to stay curious, open, and willing to walk consciously through this valley of death and sorrow, trusting there was a greater presence by my side, walking with me step by step. While I had no control over the fact that my son died, I did have something to say about how I would respond. Nothing could take this choice from me. No one could think my thoughts for me. I became acutely aware of my moment-to-moment choices and how those affected me and those I love.

When I looked back after a year had passed, I could see that I had been pulled into a vortex of healing, an upward spiral that began with my acceptance and willingness to consciously embrace the experience, to explore what it came to teach me, to demand that it bless and empower me. I also could see that this very rich soil of sorrow had helped me grow and evolve in ways I could never have imagined at the beginning of the journey.

I’ve written multiple books, created a gentle, self-paced, online healing program, and made it my mission to have the death of my son bless me and others. Thank you for sharing the journey with me as you tour this site. If you or someone you love is stuck in their grief, this is a perfect place to begin healing and to discover a pathway to peace and joy. Please sign up for the free gift, the ebook How to Best Honor and Treasure your Memories of your Loved One and Transform those Triggers into Treasures.  Click on the “free gift” button.